Foot in the mouth

Literally speaking...that is my foot in Dustu's mouth.

Dustu is the male kitten (Meow's litter) and he is a darling. The only problem is that he thinks "my feet" are his friends. So he insists on playing with them and according to him, play means using his sharp canines. Not to forget those sharp nails.

So what is the good thing...well, I have those tetanus and rabies shots already, so nothing can happen for another few months :-D (no, I am not exactly hoping for another cat bite or a dog bite...just an observation). Imagine getting a rabies vaccine for a kitten bite!!!! Seriously, that was embarrassing (if only my parents were a little less paranoid but then you can't blame them).

Missing Missy !!!

I got this forward from somewhere some time back and found it quite humorous. This is exactly what happens with some of the ad guys!! :)

~~~

From: Shannon Walkley
Date: Monday 21 June 2010 9.15am
To: David Thorne
Subject: Poster
Hi
I opened the screen door yesterday and my cat got out and has been missing since then so I was wondering if you are not to busy you could make a poster for me. It has to be A4 and I will photocopy it and put it around my suburb this afternoon.

This is the only photo of her I have she answers to the name Missy and is black and white and about 8 months old. missing on Harper street and my phone number.
Thanks Shan.

From: David Thorne
Date: Monday 21 June 2010 9.26am
To: Shannon Walkley
Subject: Re: Poster

Dear Shannon,
That is shocking news. Luckily I was sitting down when I read your email and not half way up a ladder or tree. How are you holding up? I am surprised you managed to attend work at all what with thinking about Missy out there cold, frightened and alone... possibly lying on the side of the road, her back legs squashed by a vehicle, calling out "Shannon, where are you?"
Although I have two clients expecting completed work this afternoon, I will, of course, drop everything and do whatever it takes to facilitate the speedy return of Missy.
Regards, David.

From: Shannon Walkley
Date: Monday 21 June 2010 9.37am
To: David Thorne
Subject: Re: Re: Poster

yeah ok thanks. I know you dont like cats but I am really worried about mine. I have to leave at 1pm today.

From: David Thorne
Date: Monday 21 June 2010 10.17am
To: Shannon Walkley
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Poster

Dear Shannon,
I never said I don't like cats. Once, having been invited to a party, I went clothes shopping beforehand and bought a pair of expensive G-Star boots. They were two sizes too small but I wanted them so badly I figured I could just wear them without socks and cut my toenails very short. As the party was only a few blocks from my place, I decided to walk. After the first block, I lost all feeling in my feet. Arriving at the party, I stumbled into a guy named Steven, spilling Malibu & coke onto his white Wham 'Choose Life' t-shirt, and he punched me. An hour or so after the incident, Steven sat down in a chair already occupied by a cat. The surprised cat clawed and snarled causing Steven to leap out of the chair, slip on a rug and strike his forehead onto the corner of a speaker; resulting in a two inch open gash. In its shock, the cat also defecated, leaving Steven with a foul stain down the back of his beige cargo pants. I liked that cat.
Attached poster as requested.
Regards, David.

From: Shannon Walkley
Date: Monday 21 June 2010 10.24am
To: David Thorne
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Poster

yeah thats not what I was looking for at all. it looks like a movie and how come the photo of Missy is so small?

From: David Thorne
Date: Monday 21 June 2010 10.28am
To: Shannon Walkley
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Poster

Dear Shannon,
It's a design thing. The cat is lost in the negative space.
Regards, David.
 

From: Shannon Walkley
Date: Monday 21 June 2010 10.33am
To: David Thorne
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Poster

Thats just stupid. Can you do it properly please? I am extremely emotional over this and was up all night in tears. you seem to think it is funny. Can you make the photo bigger please and fix the text and do it in colour please. Thanks.
 

From: David Thorne
Date: Monday 21 June 2010 10.46am
To: Shannon Walkley
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Poster

Dear Shannon,
Having worked with designers for a few years now, I would have assumed you understood, despite our vague suggestions otherwise, we do not welcome constructive criticism. I don't come downstairs and tell you how to send text messages, log onto Facebook and look out of the window. I am willing to overlook this faux pas due to you no doubt being preoccupied with thoughts of Missy attempting to make her way home across busy intersections or being trapped in a drain as it slowly fills with water. I spent three days down a well once but that was just for fun.
I have amended and attached the poster as per your instructions.
Regards, David.

From: Shannon Walkley
Date: Monday 21 June 2010 10.59am
To: David Thorne
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Poster

This is worse than the other one. can you make it so it shows the whole photo of Missy and delete the stupid text that says missing missy off it? I just want it to say Lost.
 

From: David Thorne
Date: Monday 21 June 2010 11.14am
To: Shannon Walkley
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Poster

 

From: Shannon Walkley
Date: Monday 21 June 2010 11.21am
To: David Thorne
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Poster

yeah can you do the poster or not? I just want a photo and the word lost and the telephone number and when and where she was lost and her name. Not like a movie poster or anything stupid. I have to leave early today. If it was your cat I would help you. Thanks.
 

From: David Thorne
Date: Monday 21 June 2010 11.32am
To: Shannon Walkley
Subject: Awww

Dear Shannon,
I don't have a cat. I once agreed to look after a friend's cat for a week but after he dropped it off at my apartment and explained the concept of kitty litter, I kept the cat in a closed cardboard box in the shed and forgot about it. If I wanted to feed something and clean faeces, I wouldn't have put my mother in that home after her stroke. A week later, when my friend came to collect his cat, I pretended that I was not home and mailed the box to him. Apparently I failed to put enough stamps on the package and he had to collect it from the post office and pay eighteen dollars. He still goes on about that sometimes, people need to learn to let go.
I have attached the amended version of your poster as per your detailed instructions.
Regards, David.

From: Shannon Walkley
Date: Monday 21 June 2010 11.47am
To: David Thorne
Subject: Re: Awww

Thats not my cat. where did you get that picture from? That cat is orange. I gave you a photo of my cat.
 

From: David Thorne
Date: Monday 21 June 2010 11.58am
To: Shannon Walkley
Subject: Re: Re: Awww

I know, but that one is cute. As Missy has quite possibly met any one of several violent ends, it is possible you might get a better cat out of this. If anybody calls and says "I haven't seen your orange cat but I did find a black and white one with its hind legs run over by a car, do you want it?" you can politely decline and save yourself a costly veterinarian bill.
I knew someone who had a basset hound that had its hind legs removed after an accident and it had to walk around with one of those little buggies with wheels. If it had been my dog I would have asked for all its legs to be removed and replaced with wheels and had a remote control installed. I could charge neighbourhood kids for rides and enter it in races. If I did the same with a horse I could drive it to work. I would call it Steven.
Regards, David.

From: Shannon Walkley
Date: Monday 21 June 2010 12.07pm
To: David Thorne
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Awww

Please just use the photo I gave you.

From: David Thorne
Date: Monday 21 June 2010 12.22pm
To: Shannon Walkley
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Awww

 

From: Shannon Walkley
Date: Monday 21 June 2010 12.34pm
To: David Thorne
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Awww

I didnt say there was a reward. I dont have $2000 dollars. What did you even put that there for? Apart from that it is perfect can you please remove the reward bit. Thanks Shan.
 

From: David Thorne
Date: Monday 21 June 2010 12.42pm
To: Shannon Walkley
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Awww

 

From: Shannon Walkley
Date: Monday 21 June 2010 12.51pm
To: David Thorne
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Awww

Can you just please take the reward bit off altogether? I have to leave in ten minutes and I still have to make photocopies of it.
 

From: David Thorne
Date: Monday 21 June 2010 12.56pm
To: Shannon Walkley
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Awww

From: Shannon Walkley
Date: Monday 21 June 2010 1.03pm
To: David Thorne
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Awww

  ……..! Fine!

How time flies...

Time and tide waits for no one.

Just a few months back...

And how times have changed...

He remains my favourite and I admit, I will feel bad when I would have to make him leave. He is sensitive and attached and hence, the affection towards him.

Apparently, the kittens create too much of a mess. The neighbours are all vegetarians and they do not like us giving non-vegetarian food in the garden or whatever we can call the little stretch of greenery infront of our home. 

Moreover, it would be impossible to feed these cats. I mean two of them are females and females reproduce every quarter. So whether our GDP increases or not, the consumption would definately keep increasing. This is not a good investment because they are of no use...they don't protect you, are not affectionate (except for this one) and have an attitude which makes you wonder about your status in their life...are you the master or are you the servant??? With inflation increasing at a higher rate than GDP, and given their tastes and preferences for "only-non vegetarian food", we might just be wondering...why not dogs???

New Lessons Learnt !

So, what am I talking about? What do you think...about - cats!!! No, not that Broadway musical but homely (apparently)cats of the feline community!

 

Now now, who is this? This is the male kitten. He is friendlier than the rest, emotional and sensitive. Now how could I make that out? I can't even read people, how did I ever read them...correctly? Long story...some other post. Like every other cat, he likes to groom himself.

And, unlike the other kittens who visit our place...he lets me pick him up and does not resist in any way. But that happens only when I get a chance to pick him up. He is so fast that it is next to impossible to catch him.

Now, who is this? Well, she is the cutest of the lot. She on her part doesn't realise how cute she looks. She is only interested in food and doesn't quite care about anything else - and that includes her sister and brother. And she is THE reason that I am writing this!

So one day, I tried to pick her up. And got bitten...seriously. Yes, she is just a six month old kitten but she has very sharp teeth. And my mother is someone who gets hyper very quickly.  To make things worse, she spoke with  an over-excited doctor about it. And then, injections followed...another story altogether.

Yesterday something new happened. 

While I was feeding her (and the others), she tried to bite me again. This time,  I got a bit irritated and picked her up in the way their mothers do...by the skin  behind the neck. And she didn't move.  No, I wasn't strangulating her, nor was I torturing her. Once I had heard in a programme in NatGeo that when a mother holds her cubs this way, the cubs can't resist and it becomes easier to carry them from one place to another. So, then that was it! I became their mother :-D...and no she couldn't resist. But the consequence of that was a few found respect for me. Now she only purrs, no more bites!!!

Bitten!

You are biting my foot baby.

You think?

 No baby, I am just imagining this pain...

Yuck...your foot tastes horrible. I need some food. And in the meantime,get a pedicure!

And this is my cat's (who actually isn't mine at all) daughter from her second litter. All the kittens of the first litter got eaten, presumably by stray dogs.
Why the snap...well, simply because she has started biting me a lot these days. Everytime she wants something she bites my feet. But what is the amusing part (since getting bitten is obviously not amusing) ???
She cleans the area before biting it...I mean she licks my feet well before she bites it.

Interesting Rajinikanth quotes

• Rajinikanth doesn’t wear a watch. He decides what time it is.
• Rajinikanth has already been to Mars, that’s why there are no signs of life there.
• Rajinikanth killed the dead sea.

• If you spell ‘Rajanikant’ wrong on Google it doesn’t say, “Did you mean Rajinikanth?” It simply replies, “Run while you still have the chance.”
• Rajinikanth can play the violin with a piano
• Rajnikanth once wrote a cheque, the bank bounced!
• Micheal Jordan to Rajini: I can spin a ball on my finger for over two hours. Can you?
  Rajni: Rascala; how do you think the earth spins!?
• Rajinikanth once ordered a plate of idli in McDonald’s, and got it.
• If Rajnikant was born 100 years earlier, British would have fought to get independence from India.
• When Rajnikant logs on to facebook.com, facebook updates its status message!
• Rajni once killed 20 men just by saying “BANG”
• Rajinikanth knows Victoria’s secret.
• Rajinikanth can divide by zero.
• Rajinikanth has counted to infinity, twice.
• When Rajinikanth gives you the finger, he’s telling you how many seconds you have left to live.

What a way to have fun!!!

De Ghuma Ke!

De Ghuma ke is the Cricket World Cup,2011 theme song. It isn't out of the world but I find it quite catch. Should be a hit :-)

Shakira's Waka waka was good (actually catchy) but somehow I liked "For the love of the game" much more.

Of course K'Naan's official World Cup Anthem was very good too.

Okay, so I like watching soccer more than cricket. I mean, it is faster and more thrilling!

Happy Thoughts

Today, I read an article by a 29 year old single male about arranged marriages. It seems that all of his extended family is looking for a bride for him. Like most men (and well, women too), he wants a love marriage. But no body throws a second glance at him and yet he thinks he is Clark Kent who turns or can turn into superman whenever he so desires! And since he is all that, he wants a super-woman.

And there were loads of comments to that post, mostly by men and as suspected most of them approved of his views. In fact a guy even asked him to write a book about this! And one particular comment captured my attention. According to that guy (who also appears to be a single male)…

“Today’s generation men prefer a career oriented woman who earns more than them, has ability to hold intelligent conversation who likes to laugh and joke, has a pert bottom and high *** drive, at the same time stay at home and bring up the children instilling traditional culture and values. Men dont want to settle anything less than perfect and women are finding it very hard to live up to these high standards. Thats why we find lot of difficulties in finding the right match in arranged marriage because nobody wants to compromise in any aspect. i also belong to the same confused era and can very well relate to the post”

And just when I was about to post this comment… “hmm…consider the opposite! Today’s woman has criteria of her own and standards that she sets. And there is a likelihood that a lot of men with fat pay cheques or jaw dropping looks do not fulfill those. So technically, perfect women also look for “perfect” men.”

My comment got rejected. And what is the reason for rejection,

“This is a happy place…please post something happy!!!”

I was shocked to read that. No one has ever said that to me. In fact it wasn’t even a person, it was an automated reply sort of a thing, which came immediately after I tried to post it. Strange…eh?

I’ve never considered myself to be a feminist in any sense of the word. Retain your identity- yes,  but not feminism. And even though, I do have a habit of generalizing things, I definately do not believe in male-bashing. Or maybe I was being a bit too personal or vociferous or who knows, a bit rude? Was I taking the benefit of the internet, which protects your identity to a large extent? Would I have said the same on his face? Hmm…let’s see…I sure would have :-)



And then a few seconds later, smiled.





What I actually wanted them to understand was that perfection is pretty much an illusion and happiness is by far a very subjective word. In any form of marriage (arranged or love), in all likelihood there would be quite a few things about your partner that you might not like. But hey, there are so many that you do. It just depends on how you look at things.  (Oh, I am not married, so all thoughts and views are…debatable!)


(p.s - This post had been written months back in another blog. Thought I'd post it again.)

Between Students!

This is a conversation that took place between a History student and a Biology student, both pursuing their post graduate studies from the same university. 

(H for history student, B for biology)

H (visibly excited): God, did you know that Akbar’s court was not such a solemn affair as one would think. There were court jesters and all for entertainment on a daily basis. In fact Akbar himself had a great sense of humour.

B (isn't interested, knows everything): yea yea, I have read all that in class 8^th. After that I took science.

Pause for a few minutes.

B: You are always reading something, in the library or the hostel.So what are you reading now?

H: The humor in Akbar’s court.

B: God, you guys have it so easy in life. You just sit and read about humour and that's all you do.

H wonders - Does he even realise how difficult it is to find literature and secondary sources  on humour of an emperor (not Birbal). And then write a serious paper on it. Hmmm...I think not!

H: So what are you working on?

B: Studying the mitochondria of a pig cell.

H: Yes, you are right. This indeed is very important.

The history student insists that the problem with some science students is that they don't understand sarcasm!