Today, I read an article by a 29 year old single male about arranged marriages. It seems that all of his extended family is looking for a bride for him. Like most men (and well, women too), he wants a love marriage. But no body throws a second glance at him and yet he thinks he is Clark Kent who turns or can turn into superman whenever he so desires! And since he is all that, he wants a super-woman.
And there were loads of comments to that post, mostly by men and as suspected most of them approved of his views. In fact a guy even asked him to write a book about this! And one particular comment captured my attention. According to that guy (who also appears to be a single male)…
“Today’s generation men prefer a career oriented woman who earns more than them, has ability to hold intelligent conversation who likes to laugh and joke, has a pert bottom and high *** drive, at the same time stay at home and bring up the children instilling traditional culture and values. Men dont want to settle anything less than perfect and women are finding it very hard to live up to these high standards. Thats why we find lot of difficulties in finding the right match in arranged marriage because nobody wants to compromise in any aspect. i also belong to the same confused era and can very well relate to the post”
And just when I was about to post this comment… “hmm…consider the opposite! Today’s woman has criteria of her own and standards that she sets. And there is a likelihood that a lot of men with fat pay cheques or jaw dropping looks do not fulfill those. So technically, perfect women also look for “perfect” men.”
My comment got rejected. And what is the reason for rejection,
“This is a happy place…please post something happy!!!”
I was shocked to read that. No one has ever said that to me. In fact it wasn’t even a person, it was an automated reply sort of a thing, which came immediately after I tried to post it. Strange…eh?
I’ve never considered myself to be a feminist in any sense of the word. Retain your identity- yes, but not feminism. And even though, I do have a habit of generalizing things, I definately do not believe in male-bashing. Or maybe I was being a bit too personal or vociferous or who knows, a bit rude? Was I taking the benefit of the internet, which protects your identity to a large extent? Would I have said the same on his face? Hmm…let’s see…I sure would have :-)
And then a few seconds later, smiled.
What I actually wanted them to understand was that perfection is pretty much an illusion and happiness is by far a very subjective word. In any form of marriage (arranged or love), in all likelihood there would be quite a few things about your partner that you might not like. But hey, there are so many that you do. It just depends on how you look at things. (Oh, I am not married, so all thoughts and views are…debatable!)
(p.s - This post had been written months back in another blog. Thought I'd post it again.)
My comment got rejected. And what is the reason for rejection,
“This is a happy place…please post something happy!!!”
I was shocked to read that. No one has ever said that to me. In fact it wasn’t even a person, it was an automated reply sort of a thing, which came immediately after I tried to post it. Strange…eh?
I’ve never considered myself to be a feminist in any sense of the word. Retain your identity- yes, but not feminism. And even though, I do have a habit of generalizing things, I definately do not believe in male-bashing. Or maybe I was being a bit too personal or vociferous or who knows, a bit rude? Was I taking the benefit of the internet, which protects your identity to a large extent? Would I have said the same on his face? Hmm…let’s see…I sure would have :-)
And then a few seconds later, smiled.
What I actually wanted them to understand was that perfection is pretty much an illusion and happiness is by far a very subjective word. In any form of marriage (arranged or love), in all likelihood there would be quite a few things about your partner that you might not like. But hey, there are so many that you do. It just depends on how you look at things. (Oh, I am not married, so all thoughts and views are…debatable!)
(p.s - This post had been written months back in another blog. Thought I'd post it again.)
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